Kuroshitsuji One Shot Collection
by Pepkie
Summary: A dive into the modern day lives of Black Butlers characters! Brought to you by myself, Pepkie, and my fabulous co-writer, Dark marie! -fanfare- please enjoy responsibly
1. Alois and Coffee

"There's too much blood in my caffeine system."

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Alois was bored. Today, even Claude's antics weren't enough to amuse him. He'd even tried to talk Ciel into a game of chess, only to be shot down because even Ciel knew he wasn't close to a worthy opponent.

"Not my fault all you had was chess to occupy you." He huffs, walking over to his flats window. Modern day London was much more exciting than he remembered, and yet nothing out there seemed interesting to him today. "Bloody hell. I haven't been this bored since..." He chuckles. "Yesterday." He just couldn't shake the fact that he'd already seen and done everything. He'd even sent Claude away to find him entertainment, which was clearly a mistake since he hadn't returned yet. The blonde sighs dejectedly.

Just then, a knock sounds on his door. Was Claude back? He thinks excitedly as he skips to the door and throws it open. "About time you returned! I was becoming quite-" but his voice falters as he takes in the figure before him.

The redheaded male gives an airy chuckle before pushing past the shorter male and into the apartment. Alois watches shocked as the reaper sets a tray of cups on the counter, clearly making himself at home.

"Grell?" Alois asks shocked. "What the blazes are you doing here?" Slowly he closes the door and follows Grell inside. "Are you lost again?"

Grell chuckles. "Oh no hon~ a little spider told me you were bored, so I came to help you out. Isn't that kind of me~?" He purrs, balancing himself precariously on a barstool. "I even brought you a present." He says, motioning to the tray of cups, which upon closer examination, Alois recognized as espresso.

"Coffee? How is that supposed to help?" But slowly his curiosity gets the better of him and he cautiously picks up one of the paper cups. "Claude never lets me have coffee. Says it's dangerous in large doses. This is a rather large cup isn't it?"

"Extra large to be exact~" Grell chuckles. "Go ahead and take a sip before it gets cold. We're here to cure boredness, not worry about a silly demons warning. Isn't that right?"

The blonde nods absently. "I suppose you're absolutely right." Then he takes a sip. Grell watches amused as Alois wrinkles his nose in distaste. He lowers the cup quickly. "How rancid!" He sputters. "Are you trying to poison me?!"

"Oh darling~ if I wanted to poison you, you'd be dead already." He says. "It really isn't that bad honestly. Just takes a bit of getting used to. Just like that horrid tea you consume daily." Then he takes a slow sip of his own cup, revelling in the thick scent of coffee beans. "Mind you this specific brew is not for the faint of heart. It's meant to give you quite the boost indeed~" He watches as the young male looks down at the cup, clearly debating the effects of another sip. "Go ahead." He encourages. "The first sips always the hardest."

Alois takes his advice and cautiously takes another sip, this time ready for the strong substance. "I guess it's not that bad..." He mumbles as he continues taking tentative sips. "A tad bit strong for my tastes, but not bad."

"As I said, you'll get used to it." Grell couldn't wait to see the normal excitable teen hopped up on enough caffeine to kill a buffalo. In truth, Claude had only said that he was off to find a new game for the young Earl, but the reaper had pieced it together and decided it was time to get som payback on the spider demon. Yes payback indeed... He watches as Alois finishes his cup and places it delicately on the counter, his hands already showing slight tremors.

"I finished~ not that bad! Not that bad at all~!" He chirps happily, eyes a tad bit wider than usual. "I feel so awake now. So awake. Incredibly awake! Lets do something!"

It seems that when caffeinated, Alois enjoyed repeating himself. Interesting. "What is it you'd like to d-"

"Anything!" Alois shouts. "Lets go jump on the couches! Yes! Couches~" then he hops off his stool and sprints across the room, narrowly missing a potted plant. "Claude never lets me jump on the couch!" He yells, hopping from cushion to cushion. "Can you believe him?! Something about improp- improp- something about not right." The teen stutters as if searching for the right word.

"Impropriety yes." Grell drawls, pulling out his iPhone. "But lets not worry about that now~ why don't you get your shoes on so you don't hurt your feet on the cushions? Wouldn't want to injure yourself before the real fun happens would we?"

Alois jumps off the couch. "You're absolutely right. Absolutely!" He says, running to the front door.

"How gullible~ this might be more fun than I thought." The redhead purrs, putting his phone on video and setting it on the counter facing the living room. Jut as the young Earl returns, his rather muddy boots tied up to his knees. He doesn't even hesitate before continuing his robust bouncing, leaving muddy shoe prints in his wake.

"This is so much fun! Lots of fun!" He shouts, flopping down on the couch. He giggles suddenly. "I feel like I could see noises! Can you taste colours? Do you think the number nine has a smell?"

Grell chuckles. "Oh Alois~ since you're done baptizing the couches, I see a wonderfully plush bed in the next room. Why don't we make sure Claude's bed is nice and soft for him?"

The youths eyes light up at the prospect of helping his butler. "Yes of course! Claude deserves only the softest bed!" He says, running to the spiders room, followed by a chuckling reaper, phone in hand.

Claude's room was made up of shades of burgundy red and black, much to Grell's surprise. In the far corner stood a tall black dresser graced with a locked box, probably extra glasses. A floor length mirror beside the walk-in closet and another end table made up the left wall. It seemed the spider had very few possessions. In the centre of the room was his bed. A plush burgundy duvet, patterned with black designs, laid delicately over black sheets and down feather pillows. The room gave off a strange feeling of warmth and coldness at once.

As Grell was taking in the sights, Alois refused to falter in his quest to 'soften' his butlers bedspread. By the time the reaper could tear his eyes from his surroundings, the young blonde had already muddied the pristine sheets and crumpled up the elegant bedspread.

"Oh dear." Grell huffs. "What a wonderful mess you've made. Claude will be thrilled by your thoughtfulness~"

"Really? You really think so?!" Alois chirps.

"I know so~ in fact," The redhead says softly, tucking his phone in his jacket. "Your little spider has just returned from the water spout." He chuckles, opening the window. "Why don't you wait here and show off how helpful you've been? I'll go meet him at the door." Then he swings his feet over the windowsill and slides down to the street below, not even looking back as he loses himself in London's foot traffic. This had been quite fun indeed~ And now he had sufficient blackmail on the annoying demon pest.

He didn't even feel bad leaving the brat behind, still hopped up on caffeine. "Double trouble~" he laughs. And disappears down an alley just as an angry shout echoes through the streets, making London's passing occupants stop and stare.


	2. Ciel and Cookies

"Raisin cookies that look like Chocolate Chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues!" **(story by Dark Marie!)**

"Come now young master, there has to be something you wish to do." spoke Sebastian as they walked down the main streets of London.

Ciel rolled his eyes boredly. "I have already seen and done everything Sebastian. There is nothing left to do."

Summer in London always left Ciel feeling bored and anxious. In the Winter he could control the movements of his staff since they were mainly confined to the Manor, but when summer came, those three would run rabid among the Manor grounds. This morning Bard had already set fire to the kitchen three times, and Mey-Rin nearly broke every tea set in the mansion. Summer time always meant dangers and disasters. So today Sebastian suggested they get out of the mansion and explore since Modern Day London had so much to offer. Yes, Ciel was fond of today's gadgets.

"Sebastian, when we return home I wish to watch Supernatural on the magic box."

Sebastian smirked slightly. "I do believe you mean the television young Master."

Ciel growled. "Whatever it is, I wish to watch my show when we return."

"Young Master if I may, you have done nothing but sit in front of the television for days. Sit there any longer and you'll be glued to your couch cushion." he drawled.

"You wouldn't understand."

Sebastian had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. "I understand that their mythology about demons is completely fa-"

"Sebastian! Look! A bakery!" Ciel ran over to the bakery and perhaps doing the most childish thing he has ever done, he pressed up against the glass and peered inside, mouth watering as he looked at all the delicacies "I wish to go in there."

"Very well young Master."

Ciel walked into the bakery with an air of dignity that could only be preformed by Ciel Phantomhive. He did not show his excitement as he glanced along the counter, oggling every pastry, cake or scone they had to offer.

"You may choose whatever you wish."

"Of course I can! I am the Earl after all!"

Sebastian only smiled. "Of course young Master. How silly of me."

Ciel only rolled his eyes as he looked closer at the pastries. "Hmm... Sebastian, I can not seem to decide what it is I wish to get. I had cake with tea this morning, a scone for breakfast and a tart this afternoon."

"May I suggest trying the cookies? This bakery is known for it's cookies."

"Is it? Hmm, I shall be the judge of that. Sebastian! Fetch me those chocolate chip cookies right there." he said pointing into the glass case.

"Young Master those a-"

"Now Sebastian!" snapped Ciel as he turned and walked towards the door.

"As you wish." Sebastian bowed before going to get the cookies. After purchasing them, Sebastian walked back towards his Master. "Shall we stop by Ms. Midfords before we leave sire?"

Ciel shuddered slightly. " Not today. I still smell like a girl after she replaced my shampoo with hers."

"And what a lovely smell it is Master. Lilacs do seem to suit you."

"Oh shut up Sebastian!" growled Ciel as Sebastian chuckled behind him.

Ciel and Sebastian walked in silence as they went back towards the Manor. London today dulled in comparison to the old London, or so Ciel thought. He loved the gadgets of today, and he thought it was interesting to learn about each one. He didn't even have to have a partner for chess anymore, he could play against the computer! Those were marvelous things in his eyes. Yet Ciel still yearned for old London. The dirty streets, the murder, the crime. Ciel would never admit it out loud, but he missed having to solve crimes for the Queen. He missed everything about his old life, including the power. These days all he got from his power was a little bit more respect than commoners when he went into stores. Back then, they would part in the streets when they saw him approaching.

"Sebastian?" spoke Ciel so suddenly that Sebastian may, or may not have shown surprise on his face.

"Yes my lord?"

"Is there any way we can go back to old London?"

Sebastian sighed. Ciel asked this question at least once a week. "No my lord, I'm afraid not."

Ciel's head dropped an inch before returning to it's proud state. "I thought not."

By the time they returned to the Manor, Ciel was in a bad mood. Sebastian handed him his cookies and walked towards the kitchen to make tea.

"Bring it in soon. I wish to have tea while watching my show."

"Yes, my young Master."

As Sebastian dissapeared into the kitchen he heard the television turn on and the familiar voices of Sam and Dean to come on to the show. Ciel usually ate his snack right before a big scene in the show. Sebastian counted the seconds before he knew what was coming.

_"3... 2...1..."_

"SEBASTIAN! THESE ARE RAISIN COOKIES! SEE? THIS IS WHY I HAVE TRUST ISSUES!"

Sebastian smirked as he poured the tea. If there's one thing his Master hated more than cats, it was raisin cookies.

"Coming Master."


	3. Undertaker and Facebook

"Thanks to Facebook, I now know what everyone's bedroom looks like~"

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The quick type of computer keys was the only sign of life in the dark room. The user gives a satisfied hum as the familiar blue Facebook page pops up on the monitor. Deft fingers quickly sign in, black nails tapping the keys excitedly.

"Who should we play with today~?" He asks no one in particular as he lazily scrolls through his home page. It had been roughly a month since Undertaker had found this marvellous mortal invention and he had to admit, it was rather enjoyable. Giggling, he clicks his friend list, searching for any elusive green dots.

"Ah~ good morning Mr. Spears." He chuckles, pulling out his book and pen. "I've heard that you've been rather stressful lately. Why don't we cure that, hmm~?" He mumbles, writing in his book with his favourite pink pen. No sooner had he set it down, than a notification flashes across his screen.

**William T. Spears has updated his status.**

The older reaper clicks on the update, grinning, and reads.

"Due to increase in overtime, the institute has become rather stressful. All reapers are permitted to take the next two weeks off to spend at their leisure. Soul collection will continue again shortly after. That is all."

No sooner had the status been posted than an overjoyed Ronald Knox had liked, followed by Grell and various other reapers.

"That was awfully kind of you, William." Undie laughs. Just as another notification appears.

**Sebastian Michaelis is now online.**

The grey haired man ponders his plan of attack for a moment. Then smirks. This would be fun~ Quickly he scribbles in his book, chuckling under his breath. "My my Mr. Michaelis. I had no idea you felt that way~" Another notification. Undie clicks on the demons status update, practically bouncing with joy, and reads.

"I can't hold it back any longer! I'd like to tell everyone right now that I am totally and undeniably in love with Grell Sutcliff. I can't wait to see him/her/it again and I fear that I shall burst with pent up desire. Please have my children."

The reaper in black bursts into a fit of giggles, his pen and book clattering to the floor. But he didn't have to wait long before the confession of love was met with an answer.

**Grell:** oh bassy~! I'm glad you've finally seen the light! I'll be right over! See you soon~! ^_^

**Sebastian:** what?! No Grell! I didn't say that! Oh for the love of souls...

"What a mess you've gotten yourself into demon." Undertaker giggles. "Hmmm~ who's next?" He ponders, fetching his book and pen from the floor. "Perhaps a certain Earl?" The reaper questions as yet another notification pops up.

**Alois Trancy is now online.**

"This is all too easy..." He sighs, yet again scribbling in his book. At this rate, it was like they were begging to be messed with.

**Alois Trancy updated his status.**

Quickly he clicks on the pop-up, already snickering under his breath, and reads.

"Last nights show was AWESOME! Thanks Claude Faustus for taking me to that strip joint! #YOLO and I even saw Ciel Phantomhive! Nice dance moves~"

Undie pulls his hat down, lost in another fit of uncontrollable giggles. Oblivious to the comment war his little trick had started.

**Claude:** Your Highness. I have no idea what you're talking about. Please don't tag me in such nonsense

**Ciel:** TRANCY! What is the meaning of this?!

**Grell:** strip joint? And I wasn't invited?!

**Sebastian:** bouchan?

"Hehehe~ oh this is too much!" Undertaker laughs. "Oh what a fabulous invention!" He giggles, clicking on his own status. Quickly he types a short message, tagging all his victims. Then he signs off, shutting the computer down and returning to his previous work, oblivious to the damage he'd caused.

Undertaker has updated his status.

"Hehehe~"

**A/N**

Undertaker! The Facebook Troll! Give it up for our wonderful social media instigator! **(This one shot was written by Pepkie) **My sincere apologies for the shortness of this chapter... -hides behind Dark Marie- Don't hurt me~


	4. Facebook and Kissing

"Just because Facebook says we're "friends" it does not mean I won't hesitate to punch you in the face" (Dark Marie!)

Ciel rolled over and looked at the clock, grimacing when the red neon lights said it was 7:55am. Sighing he got out of bed and walked to the dresser, getting his clothes ready for the day. Ever since they were transported to New London (they still don't know how that happened), Ciel didn't have any spark in his life. He didn't have anything to do anymore. His mind was far to advanced for any "schooling", and he had enough money to support him comfortably until the day he died. What was there that he could do?

"Young Master." said Sebastian entering the room. "It's time to awa-" Sebastian, although didn't show it, was midly shocked that his master was up before noon. "Well you're up early."

"Oh shut up Sebastian." grumbled Ciel getting dressed in a pair of shorts and a shirt.

Sebastian only smirked in response. "I happen to have news for you Sire. Depending on how you view it, it could be good or bad."

"Just tell me Sebastian!" he snapped. Ever since coming to the new age, Sebastian had grown snarkier every day. Ciel supposed it was warranted though. The people who killed Ciel's parents were long dead, and Ciel having never gotten revenge, now had his butler for life.

"As you wish. It turns out that today's laws are quite different young Master."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is," Sebastian paused to smirk. "You are required to attend High School."

Ciel stopped in his tracks. "Pardon me?"

"Even though your mind is capable Master, you are required to attend and complete High School."

Ciel groaned internally and externally. Why did he, Ciel Phantomhive, have to go to a stupid school, where he would spend the entire day correcting the teachers?

"Have you told them that I am quite capable of completing the exams without needing to go?" Ciel hoped that there was some way out of this. He was sure that if he was forced to go he'd order Sebastian to kill him, a request he was sure his Butler would not mind completing.

"Yes I have Young Master. Their answer remained the same. I've forged your records up until now, but due to your age I can not forge the rest.  
It seems you have no choice but to go." Sebastian smiled gleefully. "I shall get everthing you need Young Master."

Sebastian walked out smiling wider than he ever has before. "Oh this shall be wonderful." he thought to himself.

-

After many cross words, and muttered curses, Ciel stood at the gates of hell. "_If only..._" Ciel had no doubt in his mind that this would be the world day of his life, aside from his mansion and parents dying.

Walking up the front steps was an adventure in itself. Everyone stopped to stare at the Earl, and all the girls started whispering amongst themselves. The only blessing Ciel found in this experience was that Elizabeth went to a different school.

"CIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!" Ciel froze. "Oh god... oh god... please no..." Ciel turned around slowly, meeting a smiling Elizabeth.

"Oh Ciel!" she yelled hugging him. "I knew you'd be here!"

"E-Elizabeth... I thought you went to a private school."

"I did until I learned that you'd be coming here! Your butler called me and told me about you finally going to High School, and asked that I"d accompany you so you wouldn't be nervous or lonely"

"_THAT BASTARD!_" Ciel growled slightly. It's not that he didn't like Elizabeth, quite the contrary, at times he found her endearing, and yet there were other times where she came off as overbearing and annoying. This was most certainly one of those times.

"Oh Ciel this will be wonderful! We'll be the most adorable couple in school!"

Elizabeth then spent the next thirty minutes dragging Ciel through the school explaining every single classroom, every single teacher and where the best makeout spots were. Ciel was close to strangling himself (if possible) when the bell rang.

"Aww," Elizabeth pouted. "I need to go to class now. Have a good day Ciel!" Elizabeth kissed his cheek and went to her class while Ciel walked to his. Opening the door, he walked to the back of the class and sat down. As students piled in he noticed a familiar trio and a mop of blond hair.

"CIEL!" practically yelled Alois as he lunged for him. "No one told me you'd be here today!"

Ciel sighed. "It's not like I want to be here."

Alois laughed joyfully. "Oh relax Ciel! You can help me make fun of Elizabitch."

Ciel rolled his eyes and tried to ignore Alois. The triplets who accompanied him to the classroom sat beside one another on one side of him, while Trancy stayed beside him chatting.

"Well well, it seems we have a new student today." spoke a raspy voice from the front of the room.

Ciel banged his head on the desk repeatedly. He swore that God himself must be laughing at him right now. Looking he up he saw none other then Grell Sutcliff standing where the teachers supposed to be. He wore a red pantsuit with his equally red hair tied neatly in a pony tale.

"You've got to be joking..." Ciel groaned. "Who put you in charge of a classroom!"

Grell feigned shock as he put his hand up on his head dramatically. "How dare thee acuseth me of being a farce. Am I not bold enough for this position? Shall I suffer the slings and arrows or outrageous fortune? Or to take arms against a sea of troubles. And, by opposing, end them?"  
The classroom, including Alois and the triplets clapped. Grell simply smiled and bowed. "Welcome to Drama 101 Mr. Phantomhive. " Grell started to write on the board before he noticed Alois was still standing. "Please take your seat Mr. Trancy."

Alois looked around and noticed all the seats were taken. "Alright." smirking joyfully he sat on Ciels lap, wrapping his arms around the Earls neck. "I have taken my seat."

Without turning around Grell simply nodded and continued to write on the board.

Ciel grit his teeth and looking at Alois with a smile that could melt the flesh off of a demon. "Trancy." he started. "Just because facebook says we're "friends" it does not mean I won't hesitate to punch you in the face!"

Alois laughed and patted Ciels head smiling. "You're funny!"

Ciel took a deep breath before turning his attention to what was written on the board. "TODAYS LESSON: KISSING." Ciel paled and reread the board a few times before confirming that's what it actually said.

Grell smiled and finally turned around to face the class. "Today's lesson in acting, will be performing a look alike kiss."

Ciel sighed in relief. "_Okay so he did not mean real kissing. Wonderful._"

However what he did say next, chilled Ciel to the bone. "I need two volunteers." And of course, Alois raised his hand.

"Oh me! Me! Ciel and I will do it!"

Ciel glared at Alois. "I will not!" Alois pouted, but before he had a chance to say anything Grell spoke up. "Ah we have a nervous one. Come come."

Ciel sighed and got up, following Alois to the front of the room.

"Now," Grell began. "We won't actually be kissing here today, as that would get me in a lot of trouble with Superintedant Spears. That handsome devil. So today, we shall be pretend kissing. But it shall look real. Now, Alois place your hands on Ciels cheeks, thumbs covering his mouth."

Alois did as he was told, with a beaming Grell smiling at him. "Wonderful! Now simply kiss your thumbs instead of his lips!"

Ciel gulped, he didn't like this one bit. He knew how tricky Alois can be, and in all honesty, he has a right to be nervous. Alois kissed him quickly, but at the last second moved his thumbs. Alois lips mashed against his as Ciel's muffled cries went unheard.

"See class? It looks real doesn't it?"  
The class nodded in approval as Alois pulled away smirking. "I so enjoyed our kiss Ciel, we should do it again sometime?" Alois winked before sitting back down, leaving a very shocked Ciel standing at the front of the room. "He... he kissed me!"

Grell rolled his eyes. "That was the point. Take your seat please."

Ciel had enough of this. Storming out of the classroom Ciel walked down the hall angrily. "I am going to see the Goddamn principal if it's the last thing I do!" Ciel stormed into the office and opened the Principals door angrily. "Listen to me! My name is Ciel Phantomhive! I do not need to attend this stupid goddamn school only to be un-wantingly kissed, and harrassed by a blond headed psycopath! I am leaving this school and there is nothing you can do about it!"

Since the chair was turned away from him, Ciel was quite surprised when the chair turned around to reveal...

"My, my Young Master. And I so hoped you would last until the end of the day." said Sebastian sighing. "It seems I have lost the bet with Spears after all."

Ciel stood there, completely shocked as Sebastian stood up. "Come Young Master. We shall return home."

"I demand you explain this!" yelled Ciel after he had regained some colour.

Sebastian smirked. "Very well. A couple nights ago Spears, Sutcliff, Faustus and I, were in a local bar, when they started talking about High School. The subject caught my interest and I asked the daily perils of such an institute. Having been told more than enough stories to get the idea, I made a wager with them. I bet that you could last all day without fail." He laughed lightly, eyes gleaming. "Although it seems I was wrong. Even my Young Master has his limitations. Not to worry, you need not come back."

Ciel was pissed, beyond pissed. He was infuriated. Ciel only smiles evilly. If there's one thing Phantomhives were known for, it was their revenge. "Oh Sebastian?"

"Yes?" said Sebastian smirking.

"I order you to not only french kiss Grell Sutcliff, but to, for my own amusement of course, dress like a french maid for the next week. Everywhere I go you shall wear the costume. Understood?'

Sebastian paled slightly at the prospect. "As you wish." Ciel walked down the hall smirking, but in truth Sebastian was not as nearly fazed by the idea as Ciel thought he was. "_One does crazy things living for such a long time_." Sebastian shook his head chuckling slightly as he followed his Young Master. This week would be interesting indeed.


	5. Alois and the Dream

"The screams of the dead. That is my lullaby."

Faces. Too many to count. A last mournful cry, a last attempt at life.

"You don't understand! Nobody understands!"

Bodies. The spill of blood on unholy ground. The struggle to escape the unknown.

"They needed to die! They deserved everything!"

Eyes. Wide and sightless in death. Holding the secrets of a time long past.

"I can't take it anymore! Help me!"

The blonde bolts awake, eyes wide and terrified. He searches the room for a source of light. Anything, to chase away the choking darkness. But there was none. Nothing to pull him from the pressing evil all around. Nothing.

He sobs.

"Luka..." A shuddering breath released, followed by another sob. Trembling fingers clutch golden locks. "Come back to me Luka!" A mournful scream. The call of he dying.

A movement in the darkness. Unblinking gold orbs. A wicked smirk. The saviour.

A hand outstretched. Hope. A sliver of hope clung to by trembling hands. A spiders web. A web of deceit. A web of lies. Reached for by a timid heart.

A figure from the shadows during the darkest of times. A light. A candle illuminating the darkness. A soft touch. Comforting. Deadly.

"Master."

Wide eyes. Hushed breathes and an embrace cold enough to shatter bones. Is this safety? No. Safety is never this cold.

"Never leave me. Don't let me fall."

An understanding. However false. Cold eyes and a colder smile. False security.

"I shall walk beside you until you breathe your last breath and not wish otherwise. Until the day you close your eyes for good and your body lays among the dead. I am yours. Just as you are mine..."

We cling to the things that make us feel safe. The lesser of two evils. Like the fleeting hope of a spiders web. Something to give us purpose. Direction. Security. To distract us from our thoughts. To blind us from helplessness. We're all searching...

For our demon.

A/N

oookay~! A little different.. Okay a LOT diffident from our typical hilarious one shots. I hope that you'll enjoy it just as much though~ :) (oneshot written by Pepkie)


	6. April Fool!

**"Remember, if we get caught I'm deaf and you don't speak English."** **(dark marie!)**

"Ciel! Cieeeeeelllll! Wake up Ciel!"

Ciel tossed and turned as he looked for the source of the noise. "_What he hell... it can't be morning already._" he thought to himself. Looking at the window, the proud Phantomhive found little satisfaction in the fact that he was correct. It was pitch black, and the source of the noise happened to come from a certain blonde Earl.

Ciel got out of his bed and opened his window in a rush. "What the bloody blue blazes are you doing out there!" he whispered angrily. The "out there" Ciel was referring to was the ground underneath his window. It seems Alois had the bright idea of standing under his windows and throwing rocks while whisper yelling at the same time.

"Ciel! Let me up!"

Ciel thought for a moment before shutting his window, and walking back to bed. However this proved to be a bad idea because five minutes later a blonde was climbing through the window. Now, Ciel didn't usually swear but this called for it.

"How the FUCK did you get up here?"

Alois merely grinned and tackled Ciel in bed. "I climbed the drain pipe!"

Ciel groaned and flung the hyper Earl off his bed and off of him. "Well you can climb back down it! I'm sleeping!"

Alois flung the blankets off Ciel's bed and stood at the end with his hands on his hips. "Get up sleepyhead! It's the perfect time to get up!"

Ciel grabbed his alarm clock and threw it at Alois. "BEGONE SATAN!"

Alois dogged and pouted. "But... Ciel... I just wanted us to spend time together..."

Ciel looked at Alois and sighed. Ciel wasn't soft by any means, but if he didn't give in to Alois, he'd be hearing about this for the next week, possibly more.

"Fine, what is it Trancy?"

Alois smiled wide and jumped up and down. "Yes! Okay! Well listen to the whole plan before you object promise?"

Ciel groaned once again. Whenever Alois starts something like that it's bad. When no response came soon enough for him, Alois jumped on Ciel and started squeezing him to death. "PROMISE ME!"

Ciel pushed him off as best he could. "FINE! Whatever! I promise, now get off!"

Alois smiled and got off Ciel happily. "Okay well, there's this place down the street right? Claude and I were in there today and they REFUSED, refused to sell me any of their merchandise! Said I was-"

At this point Ciel fell asleep slightly. Although his eyes didn't close, he didn't actually hear a word Alois said.

"Ciel! Ciel!" Ciels snapped back to reality and noticed the blonde was still there. "Damn... it wasn't a dream after all..."

"So you'll help me right? I have the keys and everything."

"Fine whatever. I'll help you." Ciel begrudgingly got out of bed and started to get dressed.

"Wear allllll black clothes darling." spoke up Alois, who was sitting on the bed.

"Why?' Ciel was a tad suspicious but with his mind still clouded from sleep, he didn't really care.

"It looks better on you." Alois smiled innocently back at him.

Ciel felt like he said press further but again, he didn't really care at the moment. "Fine. Whatever."

Alois merely smiled and walked over to kiss his cheek. "You won't regret this!"

Ciel already had a feeling he would, but he pushed that feeling down as he and Alois sneaked through the house. He knew Sebastian must be out tonight, since he would never have allowed Ciel to sneak through the house like this.

"It's this way Ciel!" Alois whispered.

Ciel tried to stay awake as he ran across the road. Usually London was occupied, even at night, but as he followed Alois down the path, he noticed the town getting seedier and seedier. Manicured houses turned into semi crumbled buildings, and the bright lamp light took on a yellow hue.

"Where are you leading me?!"he whispered angrily.

Alois only rolled his eyes and kept going. "Okay, so it's over this wall. I'll lift you up and you'll toss me the rope okay?"

Ciel growled. "Fine but you owe me big for this Trancy!"

Alois waved his hand as if he didn't real hear him. "Yes, yes now hurry." Alois said as he lifted Ciel over the wall. As soon as Ciel was over the wall he regretted it. Garbage surrounded him and he couldn't see the rope.

"Trancy where the fuck is the rope!" Ciel was seriously thinking about killing him.

"It's over by the blue box!"

Ciel looked around and couldn't find it. "Where the hell is the blue box!"

Ciel growled when Alois didn't answer and began to do he most disgusting thing in his life... he started sifting through the garbage. He lifted bags that dripped, bags that oozed and bags that he was sure had living things in them. But still as he looked he couldn't find the damn rope!

"What'cha looking for?'

Ciel looked over to see Alois standing beside him. He only huffed and went back to looking. "I'm looking for the rope so I can help you over the wa-" Realization dawned as Ciel as he grabbed Alois by the jacket. "How in the bloody hell did you get over the wall!"

Alois giggled. "I found a gate a little ways off. But you looked so determined I couldn't disturb you."

Ciel growled and glared daggers at the blonde Earl who was close to dying. "Where to now?"

Alois smiled and bounded off to a door hidden partially by another dumpster. "Right here!" Alois put the key into the door and pushed it open.

"Come on! I just want to get a few things! Oh and Ciel~?"

Ciel merely glared with response. "What?"

"Remember, if we get caught I'm deaf and you don't speak English."

Ciel rolled his eyes and followed Alois into the dark house, apartment, shop whatever it was. He didn't care at the moment.

"So what are we getting here?"

Alois laughed. "Just a few things."

Ciel growled. "Like what? What's so important that you dragged me out of bed at this godforsaken hour and had me sifting, SIFTING through garbage!?"

Alois turned on the lights. "This!"  
Ciel looked around and his eyes nearly fell out. All around them were items that were usually associated with... Sex shops. "A-Alois... where are we?"

Alois twirled around in a pink feather boa. "Magical Desires. They wouldn't sell me anything earlier today because I'm not eighteen. Those bastards." he huffed.

"YOU BROUGHT ME TO A SEX SHOP?!" Ciel growled. That's it. The blonde was going to die. The problem was, Ciel didn't have anything to kill him with.

"Oh Ciel~" spoke Alois from behind the counter. "En garde!" he said while holding a... Ciel wasn't even going to say the word.

"Alois. I hate you. I know I've said that before but I hate you."

Alois laughed and kisses Ciel on the cheek. "No you don't!"

Ciel pushed him away angrily. "I'm damn sure I do."

Alois was about to pout when suddenly bright lights shown from outside the shop, and the door opened. "FREEZE!"

Alois eyes widened as he bounded for the back door. Ciel would have followed except he was frozen to the spot.

"Go after the boy! I got this one." shouted one of the policeman.

The bright lights stopped Ciel from seeing the faces of the policeman but he wasn't sure he wanted to. "So. It's 3:00am and I'm at the police station sitting down when I get a call saying there's suspicious activity coming from the sex shop downtown. I come here expecting to see two pervish adults wanting a bit of a rush. Instead what do I find? None other than Ciel Phantomhive raiding a sex store. What kind of sick pervert are you?"

Ciel shook with either fury or fear. He didn't know at the moment.

The policeman snickered. "Nothing to say? Well you're gonna pay for your ignorance. Turn around."

Ciel glared but did as he was told.

"Now stick your left foot out."

Ciel followed his instruction.

"Shake it all about."

Ciel was confused but listened to the policeman anyways. He didn't want to get in trouble.

"Now turn around again."

Ciel turned around only see Sebastian, Claude, and Alois standing there.

"That's what it's all about." finished the policeman as he steps forward.

Ciels eyes widened and he looked at all them. "What the hell is this about?!"

Alois laughed and looked at Ciel. "APRIL FOOLS!"

Ciels mouth hung open as he looked between the three of them, and the "policeman". His eyes glazed over in pure fury as his hands shook at his side.

Sebastian only chuckled at the poor Earl. "Please do close your mouth Young Master. it is undignified."

"Sebastian." spoke Ciel through closed teeth.

"Yes Young Master?"

Ciel glared at him. "I order you to SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP!"

Sebastians eyes widened but he followed the order smirking.

Alois giggled and kissed Ciels cheek quickly before running out the door with Claude following close behind. "Bye Ciel!" he called after him.

Ciel growled and walked out of the shop angry and tempermental. "So he did this as an April Fools prank did he?! Well then he'll pa-" Ciel yelled in frustration. "THAT BLONDE IDIOT! IT'S SEPTEMBER!"

Sebastian chuckled and picked up Ciel, ready to carry him home.


	7. That time of the Month

That time of the Month...

Ciel didn't know what he'd expected when he woke up in her bed that morning, but it definitely wasn't her absence. With a muffled grunt, he reaches an arm across the bed, only to find it empty. That was strange. She was usually rather cuddly in the morning...

"Lizzie?" He mutters groggily, patting around her side of the bed with his free hand. It was still warm so she mustn't have gotten up that long ago. Rolling into his back, he peers around the room, eyes looking for any sign of the excitable blonde. Nothing. That's when the smell hits him.

Blood.

Bolting upright, his eyes lock on the bathroom door. The whitewash door have nothing away to what he feared was inside. Ciel takes a shaky breath as he slides the covers down and swings his legs over the edge of the bed, his bare feet touching down on the plush rose pink carpets.

"Elizabeth..?" He says cautiously, reaching out for his robe, not once taking his eyes off the door. He could hear nothing from behind the door and frankly that scared him more than if he could. As soon as the robe is securely tied around his waist, he creeps over to the door and leans his head on the smooth surface. "Are you alright in there?" He asks, his pale hand rapping on the door lightly.

"Don't come in!"

He lifts his head as her shrill voice echoes through the door. That was odd. She rarely hid anything from him.

"Are you hurt? Let me in so I can help." He wasn't sure exactly WHAT he was helping with, but he would help regardless. It distressed him to know that his fiancé was in pain and not being able to help her. But yet again he's met with the same frightened squeak, only this time it was mixed with something else... Embarrassment? This thoroughly confused Ciel.

"Elizabeth. Let me in." He says forcefully, jiggling the locked handle to emphasize his point.

"Ciel, it's really bit that-"

"Now Lizzie."

At this, the petite blonde gives a dejected sigh before unlocking the door and letting it swing open. Ciel was relieved to see that she seemed to be perfectly fine. No open wounds that he could see. Then his eyes travelled to the small garment in her hand and he froze.

"What..?"

Elizabeth blushed slightly as she shoves the soiled undergarments behind her back. "There's nothing be worried about, darling. I just um.. Forgot that it was coming this week." She mumbles. "I was so caught up in the excitement of you coming over that-"

But she's cut off as Ciel snatches the panties from behind her back and glares down at the inferior stain that had appeared there. "Blood? But.. What?" He stutters glancing up at his fiancé. It made no sense at all to him. What in devils name would possible make his fiancé bleed THERE? "Are you sick? Should we take you to a doctor?"

The bubbly blonde lets out a soft giggle as she grabs the panties back. "No Ciel~ it's normal for women to bleed when it becomes that time of the month." She says, her cheeks getting increasingly red. "Basically our... Lower regions throw a fit when we don't get pregnant." This results in another extremely confused look from Ciel. In all his years, he had never heard of such a thing.

"Does it hurt? When it umm..." Ciel had had many an experience with blood. But it was usually out of a visible wound. And usually by his or his butlers own hand. But this! This was nothing like that. It perplexed him as to why a woman's body would get mad at itself for not conceiving a child.

"Oh it's not that bad~ just a few cramps here and there." She says, an almost non existent edge of sarcasm in her voice. But really the cramps were continuous, and felt like she was being stabbed in the guy with a serrated steak knife. But for her fiancé, she would put on her strong face and keep him in the dark about how she was really feeling.

This answer seemed to put the Earl at ease as his shoulders became slightly less tense. "It goes away right? Like... Um.. Down there becomes functional and.. Less messy right?"

"Cieeeeeel~! You can't just say those things!" The blonde screeches, chucking the nearest object at his head, which happened to be her soiled undergarments.

The look on Ciels face was that of pure astonishment as they landed square on his face. The next second, an almost animalistic cry rose from his throat and he was on the floor.

Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh in embarrassment as her fiancé fumbled to get rid of the panties, yet not wanting to touch them directly. "LIZZIE GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" He shouted, flailing his arms like that if a child throwing a temper tantrum.

The blonde gives an exasperated sigh as she stands over him, picking up the dirty garment and throwing it into the waste bin. "Honestly Ciel~ you're such a twit sometimes." She huffs, straightening his ruffled bangs.

The blue haired boy rolls his eyes before grabbing her around the waist and pulling her onto the floor with him, her knees on either side of his hips. "What did you call me?" He asks, smirking. But he was taken off guard by the sudden look of shock that spread across his fiancés face, followed by a bloom of red across her cheeks.

Without warning, she rolls off him and dashes to the bathroom. The last thing he sees is a very unflattering red blotch staining her backside before the door is slammed behind her. And he is left once again in a state of utter confusion.

A/N

weeeeell... I have no idea where this came from~ but uh.. Yeah. Enjoy!


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